The benefit of taking full responsibility, even for the crappy stuff, is priceless.

This is an excerpt from my book Accelerate Your Mojo, available on Amazon in Spring 2017.

Question: I feel deflated. I’m trying really hard, working really hard, and can’t seem to accomplish what I want. I get started on projects and ideas, and sometimes even get close, and then it all seems to fall apart. What can I do? I just want things to work out for once. I just want to achieve my goals and be done with it already. (This conversation refers to AYM step one: ask; step three: belief; step six: inspired action; and step seven: detached optimism.)

What would you be done with? If you had everything you wanted given to you today, what would be the point in being here any longer? That sounds harsh, but it’s not meant to be. It’s meant to make you think about what you just said.

So many people think they want all their wants and desires to plop on their laps today. Give me the money, then I’ll be happy! they shout.

In the same way when you plant a cucumber seed you can’t demand it into being a mature plant, nor can you demand your life into being a particular way. You can’t make your cucumber plant grow faster by feeling more frustrated, getting drunk over it, or punching it. You’ve got to understand the intricacies of turning thought to things and allow ideas their proper gestation.

Taking response-ability is not about condemning yourself for all the things that have gone wrong in your life. Taking response-ability is about understanding your own free will to be happy before the thing you want shows itself to you. It’s not about giving up on what you want just because it’s not sitting in your driveway today.

There is a dramatic difference between being a sloppy, unhappy, unintentional creator and an aware, happy, intentional one. When you’re a sloppy one, you’re surprised when things go well and devastated when they don’t. It feels like life is against you, for no good reason.

When you’re an aware one, you’re thrilled as you witness the ways in which the universe is working on your behalf and informed when things don’t work out as you wished. You understand life isn’t against you. Instead, you do the inner work necessary to allow different outcomes to reveal themselves.

How do you get ready to receive them?

You focus on what’s going right in life, even if it’s a measly one out of ten things. You laugh more and worry less, understanding the good you desire is waiting for you, right now. Using your goggles of gladness, it’s all up to you to adjust your vibration to see it.

The gap between being a sloppy creator, and an intentional creator, closes when you understand your own internal guidance system. You have to believe you’re more than just a physical being, and comprehend that Law of Attraction is the most powerful law in the universe.

To become an intentional creator you must be willing to give up your story of victimhood. You’re not a victim of your thinking, past lives, cranky neighbor, ex-spouse, adult child who won’t do what you tell them, or the rain that’s dripping through your ceiling.

The beauty of living in this time-space reality is whatever you believe to be true; you’ll find the proof to back it up. That’s one of the biggest reasons I didn’t load up this book with lots of scientific evidence and case studies. For those who want to believe, you’ll find the social and scientific proof. For those who want to doubt, you’ll find the social and scientific proof. Whatever you want, it’s out there.

So, what do you want? Whatever you believe will be proven true for you. Love it and move on.

When we accept responsibility for everything that happens in our lives, we become free in a way that’s inexplicable. Remember that taking responsibility for your life does not mean beating yourself over the head with a hammer of guilt, or feeling unworthy. It’s not about feeling inept, stupid, unqualified, undereducated, undertrained, less than, too young, too unhappy, too jaded, too old, or too little of anything.

It’s about standing on your own blessed two feet, making the following statement, and meaning it.

"This life I can mold into anything I desire. I’ll do this with my vibration, first, and then watch my rightful abundance reveal itself to me, and take inspired action on the things I feel intuitive about, over time."

It’s about not caring if others know about your declaration, believe you, or support you. You’re not doing it for outside approval, follows and likes on social media, or kudos at work. You’re doing it because life is supposed to be fun, and your intuition is leading you down the path of most allowance.

The misunderstanding with a lot of personal development teachings is the focus on the action, the external result changing, or the goal achievement, as the reason to be happy.

In the AYM methodology, you’re not trying to change the results first, you’re trying to switch the way you’re vibrating, your feelings, so you can conceive, receive, and perceive things differently. One of those things is more unconditional happiness, and ease within the process of understanding problems.

When you create a new inner resonance, without needing the results to change before you feel better, that’s when you’re being fully response-able. If you need the results to change in order to shift your vibration, then you’re living conditionally. 

If you’re willing to say, I did that! with the results you love, you’ll feel even more empowered if you can say, I did that! with the results you don’t love. There’s an enormous sense of freedom that comes by knowing, and seeing, how you create your own reality.